Moments in Time
by stardust2002
Summary: This is the first in a series of songfics describing some of the thoughts the characters might have had during pivotal decision making times during the episodes. No spoilers in particular, but everything up to episode 2.11 could be included.
1. Chapter 1

You're the Voice

This will be a series about the various characters in BSG and the choices they've made and why. BSG tends to leave a lot up to your imagination, and I've just decided to write my thoughts as to what the characters were thinking when they made these choices. They come with songs because I'm a musician in reality, and so I tend to think of songs that suit circumstances.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

ooooooooooooo

We have a chance to turn the pages over

We can write what we want to write

We've got to make it speak before we get much older

oooooooooooooooo

Bill Adama sat, musing on all the things his officers had told him, but the one thing that rang loudest of all was what Dee had said. That girl spoke true wisdom - their splintered family _did _need to be reunited.

It was the thing that had been uppermost in his mind since he made the decision to stand firm and allow the President and her followers to leave without a fight.

ooooooooooooo

We're all someone's daughter

We're all someone's son

How long can we look at each other, down the barrel of a gun?

oooooooooooooo

_They_ weren't the enemy. The gods themselves (if they existed) knew that humanity was tightrope walking on it's last thread of life here - the enemy was numerous and strong, and seemed to have a single-mindedness of purpose that humans never had, even now when their very existence was threatened. There was no way they should be holding a gun to each other now - personal agendas had to be set aside.

Humanity had to learn to cooperate if they were to survive.

ooooooooooooo

You're the voice, try and understand it

Make a noise and make it clear

We're not going to sit in silence

We're not going to live with fear

ooooooooooooooo

He _was _the voice. The voice of the military and three quarters of the civilian population as well. He'd better start damn well thinking more clearly before opening his mouth next time. Leading half of a civil war was not something he'd ever wanted to do. "The cylons never asked us what we wanted." The words he'd spoken to Starbuck came back to haunt him. No, they hadn't. But when you were a leader, you did what you had to do.

If they were to stand any chance whatsoever, they couldn't be fighting amongst themselves.

ooooooooooooooo

This time you know we all must stand together

With the power to be powerful

Believing we can make it better

'United we stand.' It had been part of the Caprican Constitution but it held true for all humans. They _had _ the power to defeat the cylons - power not in numbers, but in imagination, ingenuity, and creativity. All the things the cylons didn't have. _Couldn't _ have because they were just machines, despite their ability to mimc human form.

Bill Adama was a patriot, first and foremost. His homeworld was gone, but his colony, his fleet was what was left of humanity. They were family now.

ooooooooooooooo

We're all someone's daughter

We're all someone's son

How long can we look at each other, down the barrel of a gun?

oooooooooooooooo

Lee. His heart ached at the thought of losing his only remaining son. Lee had finally chosen a side - the _other _ side. It had hurt at first, but now he realized there _were _ no sides. They were all instruments of one larger plan, playing their parts. But those parts were meant to work together, to complement each other, not split apart and become enemies. Perhaps Lee had been the wiser one. He'd seen the larger truth and had been willing to risk everything for it.

Kara. His daughter. In everything but name. His heart ached for her as well, now that he'd lost her. True, she might return; she was Starbuck and _nothing _ kept Starbuck down, but she was also Kara. And he'd let Kara down. He'd done what he believed to be best for everyone, but his lie had cut her deeply. More deeply than he could ever have imagined obviously.

He hoped someday she'd be able to forgive him.

oooooooooooooooo

You're the voice, try and understand it

Make a noise and make it clear

We're not going to live in silence

We're not going to live with fear

ooooooooooooooooo

It was time to push his fear aside and do what was right. As Dee had said, it was time to reunite their family.

As he pulled on his clothes, he felt a twinge of pain in his wounds. They only served to remind him of how much pain they'd all suffered as a result of his bad decision.

It was time to end the pain, heal the wounds.

_Fin_


	2. Chapter 2

Middle Ground

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

oooooooooooo

Times are strange, seems like nothing lasts

I watch the changes go by so fast

If there's a future, it makes you long for the past

oooooooooooo

Times were definitely strange, no question about that. How did a man who desperately wanted out of his military life end up as CAG on a ship he didn't belong on, and military advisor (against his father's wishes) to a woman who had been an unknown face in politics but was now the President of all humanity? It made no sense. But then again, neither did the cylons attacking after forty years of silence.

Lee yearned for the simplicity of the past. Long past that is - back when Zack was still alive. Everything had seemed easier before his brother had died and ripped their family into shreds. Not that he blamed Kara - she blamed herself enough for the both of them.

Life was becoming difficult - fraught with unpleasant choices. Three months earlier it had been simple - fight or die. Now that the immediate threat was gone, it was time to figure out how to live again.

oooooooooooooo

Over my head, got in too deep

Weighted down with promises I could not keep

Between a rock and a hard place, no room to be found

'Cause there ain't no middle ground

There ain't no middle ground

oooooooooooooo

He was definitely in over his head. His father and the President had been drifting further and further apart of late, and Lee could feel the big explosion coming soon. Every time the two of them were together sparks flew - and not the good kind either.

He should never have accepted the position of military advisor to the President. He _was _the best person for the job, but his duty to Galactica and to his father clouded his judgment.

And then there was Kara. Talk about clouding his judgment! The President had been right - he couldn't see straight when it came to her. He loved her, he hated her. He needed her, he wished she'd just disappear and uncomplicate his life.

oooooooooooooo

Everywhere you look some kind of war's going on

And no man's land is never gonna stay that way for long

Better climb off that fence boy, before somebody shoots you down

And they'll say "just whose side are you on anyway?"

But I haven't got the heart to act my part out in their play

But in the end you've got no choice - it's the only game in town

'Cause there ain't no middle ground

There ain't no middle ground

ooooooooooooooo

"I didn't realize we were choosing sides."

"That's why you haven't chosen yet."

His father's words came back to haunt him. In the three months they'd worked together, he'd learned to trust his father unquestioningly, but at this moment, pointing his gun at the Presidents guards, he realized his father was wrong. It wasn't about choosing sides, it was about doing what was right.

He knew his military career was likely over and he'd spend the rest of the journey in the brig (if not on the Astral Queen), but he had to do what was right. What was the point of saving humanity if truth and justice were thrown out the airlock every time someone made a decision you didn't like?

oooooooooooooooo

So hard not to lose ourselves along the way

Sometimes you've got to hold your breath and take that blind leap of faith

oooooooooooooooo

As Lee sat on the Astral Queen, looking back at his actions and wondering if he did the right thing, Kara came unbidden to his mind. For the first time since she'd jumped away, he finally understood why. He'd always known she was upset with him over the events leading up to her departure, but it was only now that he truly understood _how_ she could go and risk everything for a story that likely wasn't true.

Faith. She had faith. She believed in the scriptures. She believed Roslin was the dying leader in the prophecy. She believed it was her destiny to fulfil this part of the prophecy. Faith. It was strong enough to overcome all obstacles.

ooooooooooooooo

Last night I dreamed of a long-forgotten place

High upon a hill, with the cool wind in my face

And the air was clean and clear

And I could see for miles around me

And in my heart I knew I had come home

And in my soul there was a peace I'd never known

And so I lay my claim to this sacred place I found

And I'll stand the middle ground

oooooooooooooo

He didn't know how it was possible, but he believed Kara. They _were _standing on earth. And Lee felt a sense of peace he hadn't felt in years. Since Zack died. His life had changed so much since then, and he'd spent many hours wandering - lost and confused.

Suddenly it all came clear. It was all put into perspective, and he saw his life as a continuous arc, full of ups and downs, leading him to this moment, this place. He was finally able to see a future beyond surviving another day.

He saw himself standing on a hill in the warm sunshine, happy and content at last. There was a woman standing beside him, hand clasped in his. He couldn't see her face, but out of the corner of his eye he saw her blonde hair waving in the breeze.

ooooooooooooo

And I'll stand the middle ground

Stand the middle ground.

ooooooooooooo

(Middle Ground - Rik Emmett)


	3. Chapter 3

That's What Love is For

Kara comes to an important realization as she thinks about her relationship with Lee. Spoilers up to and including Resurrection Ship Part 2. Song is called 'That's What Love is For' and it's performed by Amy Grant.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

**ooooooooooooo**

Sometimes we make it harder than it is

We'll take a perfect night

And fill it up with words we don't mean, dark sides best unseen

And we wonder why we're feeling this way

**ooooooooooooo**

"No, you don't owe me anything. 'Cause I'm just a CAG, and you're just a pilot."

"Right."

"A pilot who can't keep her pants on."

Those words had cut like a knife - much deeper likely than he had intended them to. She and Lee often had words, many times unpleasant words, but they generally weren't the kind that were meant to wound. But wound they had, and Kara was reasonably certain Lee knew it.

Things had been horribly tense between them until she'd left for Caprica, but his response when she returned showed that he really wasn't hopelessly angry with her. Quite the opposite in fact.

**ooooooooooooo**

Sometimes I wonder if we really feel the same

Why we can be unkind

Questioning the strongest of hearts, that's when we must start

Believing in the one thing that has gotten us this far

**ooooooooooooo**

"I just want you to know I'm your friend Kara, I love you. If there's anything you want to talk about, anything you need to get off your chest ... I'm here for you."

There had been truth in those words. All of them. Maybe Lee hadn't realized he'd let the 'I love you' slip out, hence the reason he'd tried to justify it, but Kara knew. The kiss had said the same thing just hours earlier.

She was in turmoil. She'd suspected he had feelings for her - his look at the Colonial Day ball, and subsequent jealous fury over her 'encounter' with Baltar - but until today, she hadn't really been sure. Now she had proof. And she had no idea what to do about it. Did she love him?

**oooooooooooooo**

That's what love is for, to help us through it

That's what love is for, nothing else can do it

Melt our defences, bring us back to our senses

Give us strength to try once more, baby, that's what love is for

**oooooooooooooo**

Trapped on that moon, waiting to be rescued. Who had she been thinking of? Lee. All during her recovery period, who had been by her side? Lee. Who had saved her ass both in the sky and by taking the heat for her when she misbehaved? Lee.

Lee was the one who ran with her every morning, flew rotations with her daily, played cards with her most evenings (despite losing - cleaning him out was so much fun!). Lee was her friend, her wingmate, her ally ... what _wasn't _he to her?

Their fight after her night with Baltar was the first time he'd ever treated her with coldness and disdain ... and it had been one of the most painful things she'd ever endured. Second only to Zack's death.

**ooooooooooooooo**

Sometimes I see you, and you don't know I am there

And I'm washed away by emotions I hold deep down inside

Getting stronger with time

It's living through the fire and holding on we find

**ooooooooooooooo**

She saw him with different eyes now. She found herself watching him often, stealing glances while they worked together. Lee. _Her _Lee, that's how she'd started to think of him. Before, he'd been Lee - son of the commander, Lee - Apollo's alter ego, Lee - the uptight CAG. Now he was _her _Lee.

They were a team, Apollo and Starbuck, Lee and Kara. Kobol was a dangerous place, yet Kara had never felt so safe, knowing Lee had her back. She'd had to trust Helo and Anders on Caprica, and she had, but it wasn't the same. Lee would die to save her, there was no question about that. He loved her - it was plain to see now that she knew to look for it.

Did she love him? There was no way she could bear to live without him now - Caprica had shown her that. Her life and Lee's were inextricably bound - they needed each other.

**oooooooooooooo**

That's what love is for, to help us through it

That's what love is for, nothing else can do it

Melt our defences, bring us back to our senses

Give us strength to try once more, baby, that's what love is for

**oooooooooooooo**

She loved him, it was plain to see if you knew where to look. It scared her to death to know how close she'd come to losing him forever, but thankfully he'd been saved. At least his _body _ had been saved. Now his soul needed saving, and she was the one who had to do it. They were soul-mates - two people who were so deeply bound it was hard to tell where one ended and the other began. His love had pulled her through when her soul had given up, now it was her turn to return the favour.

He was drowning - slipping away from her with every moment that passed, but she would _not _lose him. It didn't matter what the cost, he _had _to be saved.

**oooooooooooooo**

That's what love is for, to help us through it

That's what love is for, nothing else can do it

Round off the edges, talk us down from the ledges

Give us strength to try once more, baby, that's what love is for

**oooooooooooooo**

"I'm here for you Lee, don't give up. I'm here."

_Fin_


	4. Chapter 4

Sea of No Cares

**A/N: **I wasn't sure if the redhead who seems to be second-in-command to Anders had a name, and I didn't have time to check out the episodes to find out, so I gave her one arbitrarily. Sorry if I'm breaking canon here - I hope it doesn't detract from your enjoyment of the story. It is Anders' thoughts regarding Kara and his relationship with her - spoilers for Resistance and The Farm.

**ooooooooooooooo**

_When you're in love there's no time and no space_

_There's a permanent smile on your face_

_Your friends all complain that you're going insane_

_But the truth is that they're just afraid_

**ooooooooooooooo**

Sam walked from the pyramid court to their makeshift showers, wondering how the blonde spitfire with such an aggressive attitude managed to kick his ass. Him, the star player of the bucks. _I'm out of practice, _he told himself, but he knew it wasn't true. They'd created the court just _so _they could keep in practice - who knew if this woman - this 'Starbuck' had even played anytime in recent history. Given her skill, he figured they must have a court on board her ship. _And she probably wipes the floor with everyone she plays with, _he thought, smirking heavily.

He saw her, clad only in a towel, leaving the showers. Frak! Her face wasn't the only thing that was cut and bruised. She must have been through hell since she'd arrived. _And she _still _beat me - man, that's a woman to be reckoned with!_

**oooooooooooooooo**

_And hey, somewhere_

_You threw your fear in the sea of no cares_

_And hey, somewhere_

_You threw your fear in the sea of no cares_

**oooooooooooooooo**

Sam wasn't exactly the shy sort, but he'd been burned once too often, especially by pushy women. They were generally the ones who were fanatical about pyramid, and Sam, being the star player (and not unattractive physically), had had any number of them hit on him. A few times he'd taken them up on their offers, but all they'd wanted was a one-night frak with a superstar.

So he was wary of this Starbuck ... Kara the other man had called her. He'd been calling her Starbuck when they were out there fighting for their lives, but once they'd relaxed and begun to trust, he'd switched to Kara. Sam knew enough about nicknames, though he was unfamiliar with the military, to know Starbuck must be hers. He wondered how she got it, and wondered if she'd tell him if he asked. _Probably not, _he thought. _Probably a 'personal' thing. _And he decided to try to stop thinking about her. She was likely just another 'fan', flirting with him in order to get a quick frak. _Except she didn't know who you were when you first met. Maybe, maybe ... she's different._

**ooooooooooooooooo**

_When you decide that what counts is inside_

_Your friends all say it's a lie_

_But there's no brighter light than the look in her eyes_

_When you're walking her home through the night_

**oooooooooooooooo**

She shook her head in disbelief. "I can't believe you. She's just another one."

Sam shook his head. "She's not Jill. She's different ... special."

Jill rolled her eyes. "Spare me the romantic crap, Sam. Don't tell me it's love at first sight 'cause I won't believe you."

"Don't worry, I know you better than that." He paused and a dreamy look came into his intense blue eyes. "It's something ... definitely something," he said softly.

Jill rolled her eyes again and turned to walk away. "Have a nice night."

Sam threw her a vaguely dirty look, but his feet involuntarily took him in the other direction - towards the room he'd given Kara.

He knocked and entered, finding her only half-dressed. Obviously she was getting ready for bed. He shouldn't intrude. Given her injuries, she probably needed the rest, not to play more games with him.

She turned lazily, pulling her trousers the rest of the way off. "What took you so long?" And she walked over and stood before him, clad only in a black bra and matching panties, waiting, as if for him to make the first move.

He couldn't help himself. There was just _something _about her. He put his hands on her waist and pulled her closer. "I was waiting for the right time," he said softly.

"And it's now?" she asked suggestively.

He answered by joining his lips to hers, and she eagerly welcomed him.

**oooooooooooooooooo**

_And hey, somewhere_

_You threw your fear in the sea of no cares_

_And hey, somewhere_

_You threw your fear in the sea of no cares_

_Let yourself go with the tide_

_There's an angel by your side, tonight_

_You threw your fear in the sea_

**ooooooooooooooooo**

" ... we could use some professional advice." _Please, stay here with me. I don't know why I feel so strongly about you, but I want you here with me._

"As soon as I get back to Galactica, I'll send a rescue party." _Gods, I wish I could take you now - screw the others! I don't know what it is about you, but I want you to come back with me._

"Yeah, right."

"If I _say _I'm going to do something, I _do _it."

"Are you always such a bitch in the morning?" he teased.

"Count on it," she answered, challenge written all over her face.

"My kind of woman." _Gods, she is too - absolutely everything I want in a woman. I'd give anything ... anything to keep her._

The rest of the morning had gone spectacularly. Their mission had been slightly postponed, so they could embark on another - learning everything they could about one another.

And then it had happened. She disappeared.

**oooooooooooooooooo**

_Oh, back at the bar getting cynically stoned_

_Your friends are drinking alone_

_But it's funny, they don't even cross your mind_

_When she asks you into her home_

**ooooooooooooooooo**

"I'm not leaving her to die," he insisted.

"Oh come off it Sam, she's not even one of us. _They've _probably got her and she's already dead. Or wishes she was," she added quietly.

"She _is _one of us and she was under my protection. I'm _not _letting her go that easily. I'm the leader here - if you don't want to help, fine. But I say we don't just leave her to die. So you can help me find her or not, it's your choice. If you have an issue with it, keep it to yourself." He strapped on his gun, a steely look in his eyes.

The redhead who'd been his second-in-command since the cylon attacks nodded. "Let's go then. We're going to need a few more in case we run into trouble. Her friend ... Helo is his name? I'm sure he's going to want to come too."

"Go round up a crew. We leave immediately."

**ooooooooooooooooooo**

_And hey, somewhere_

_You threw your fear in the sea of no cares_

_And hey, somewhere_

_You threw your fear in the sea of no cares_

**oooooooooooooooooo**

"I'm not leaving you." _I can't, not now when we've come to mean so much to each other._

Sam's throat choked up at the sound of her voice. She was almost crying, and he felt certain she was not the type of woman who cried easily. _Frak! She feels the same way I do, _he thought, pushing back the tears.

"You said you'd come back, remember?" _You'd damn well better - I can't live without you. _His voice broke and he knew she could hear the tears he was desperately trying to hide.

"I'm coming back," she said tearfully, putting a hand lovingly on his cheek. "I said it ... I meant it."

He nodded, almost unable to speak for the emotions rushing wildly through him. _You'd better come back Kara, because I _will _be waiting ..._

**oooooooooooooooooo**

_And hey, somewhere_

_You threw your fear in the sea of no cares_

_And hey, somewhere_

_You threw your fear in the sea of no cares_

**oooooooooooooooo**

(Sea of No Cares - Great Big Sea) 


End file.
